I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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