She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
