fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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