I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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