am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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