He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
