jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
