i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
