How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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