Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
