bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
