I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
