At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I looked at my own cervix.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
