We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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