I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
