It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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