i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My vagina just recognized that song.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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