Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
it was like eating out sand paper
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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