We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
