I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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