don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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