you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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