I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
