Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
