four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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