My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
