she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
