Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
