Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
