i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I want her autograph on my taint
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
