Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
