Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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