i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
