I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize