honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Less talking, more tequila
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
