At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
