In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
