That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
