She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
