everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
either way he was missing a nipple.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize