just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
