i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
