found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
