He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
