The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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