thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
