so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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