My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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