birth control should be required to get into college
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
