after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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