dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
