dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
