ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
