2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize