What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i out mim tonsoeep
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