I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
