Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
