super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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