Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my being single is dangerous.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
