I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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