from now on my penis is your penis
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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