Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
