Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
