This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
