I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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