this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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