Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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