He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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