Need sex. Gaining weight.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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