God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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