My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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